We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
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