I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
