Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
