Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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