Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
