Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
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