i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Randomize
