this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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