I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize