I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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