I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Wtf am i supposed to tell my kids when they ask about my first time? "Mommy got drunk off her ass and fucked a total stranger in another stranger's bedroom, then got abandoned by the selfish prick and walk of shamed to the nearest gas station to call a cab, but ended up passed out in a park in a pool of her own puke."
At least mommy was smart enough to use protection and hack into the asshole's facebook account.
Well of course. Mommy may be a slutty drunk but she ain't no idiot.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
