Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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