I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Randomize
