Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Randomize
