my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
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