we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
there is another microwave in the elevator.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
