is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
