I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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