he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
