I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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