So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Girls should come with a carfax report
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Randomize
