Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Randomize
