The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
