Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
