Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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