We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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