i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
