I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
