I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
