Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Randomize
