Her vagina should come with caution tape.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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