Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
We talked him into tasing himself.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
