the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
The uberlube is also flammable
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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