its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize
