Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
