dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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