my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize