my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
