you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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