I hate your face
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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