i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
