sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
