The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
