this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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