whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Randomize
