And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
