Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I wear drunk well.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
