flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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