We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
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