we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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