Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Randomize
