I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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