i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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