The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
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