well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize