There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
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