considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
no you cant smoke seaweed
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
