She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
