I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
we're making bets on your personal life
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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