I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
